Honesty About Emotions
Allowing Ourselves the Space to Feel
If we allow ourselves to be honest, living in this fallen world is hard. We can put on masks and fronts that we have it all together, but underneath, we are far from okay. We try to put band-aid Scriptures on grief and deep pain, reminding ourselves that God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28), but do we really believe that in the core of our being?
As I face a challenging reality in my life, I realized last week how much I had been suppressing my own emotions. When I hit my breaking point, a dam of bottled anxiety and fear came pouring out. At this point in my journey with the Lord, He only allows me to stay in the place of not confronting things for a short time. Why? Because stuffed emotions and pain turn into other things. The enemy uses them to get us into strongholds of fear, disconnection from the Lord, and turning to distractions and coping mechanisms to deal with the pain. In those mindsets, we cannot steward our assignments well and carry the glory and power needed for our generation. Bottled emotions can also turn into physical diseases and make us sick, leaving us physically unable to do the good works God prepared for us.
As I have been processing my circumstance and accompanying emotions, I was drawn to the Psalms where David pours his heart out to the Lord. David’s life was hard. He suffered rejection from his mother and father (Psalm 27:10). Saul sought to take his life on numerous occasions. He spent years running in the wilderness. But through all these things, God was preparing him to be a king. And not just any king, but a king whose line would never end (Psalm 89:3–4). David wrote many of the Psalms throughout his years of shepherding sheep, running from Saul, and ruling over Israel. He did not hide his emotions. He did not stuff his grief, fear, and pain. Instead, David poured out his heart before the Lord.
Hear my cry, O God;
Give heed to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I call to Thee,
When my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61:1-2, NASB
Trials and circumstances of life can leave us with faint hearts. Faint is the Hebrew word ataph (H5848). It means to grow weak or to be shrouded in darkness. This word was used as a metaphor for being overwhelmed or in a state of emotional distress. Emotions are not bad. They are an indicator of what is taking place in our souls. Developing a safe space with the Lord and safe people allows us to express emotions healthily. If we always suppress how we genuinely feel or the pain and grief we are experiencing, it will only get buried to surface at a later time. Suppressed feelings do not die; they only get buried alive. Buried emotions can lead to hard-heartedness, bitterness, resentment, unbelief, distrust in God, rebellion, addictions, and even physical disease. These core beliefs will then surface through our relationships with others, our beliefs about God, and how we feel about ourselves.
David tells us what He did with his emotions in Psalm 62:8.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 62:8, NASB
To pour out (H8210) in Hebrew means to pour out emotions. David also says in Psalm 62:5 that his only hope is in God. This is why he felt safe pouring out his feelings to the Lord. He had trust and hope that the Lord was the one who would help him through the circumstances and trials that were causing his emotional distress. The Lord was his Rock and his refuge. A refuge (H4268) is a place of safety and protection. It is the Hebrew word machaseh. The root word is chasah (H2620). The letters that form chasah are the chet (8), samech (60), and hey (5). These letters reveal a picture of a hedge of protection for our hearts (chet) where the Holy Spirit (hey) supports, assists, and aids (samech) us.
As I said at the beginning, life in this fallen world is hard. We face many trials and challenges that can come at us from every direction. Jesus lived on this earth, so He is acquainted with grief, rejection, loss, physical pain, and challenging relationship dynamics. Hebrews says we can always come to Him because He understands what we are going through (Hebrews 4:15-16).
I encourage you to be honest with God about your emotions. Take the pain, confusion, grief, hurt, anger, unbelief, fear, and shame to Him. As you allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt and grieve what needs to be grieved, His promise is that He will send the Comforter as a refuge in the midst of the storm.
Blessings,
Brandee